1. |
Midnight Roomba
03:21
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Wake up! Wake up! Now!
Someone’s in the house!
Gotta get-- gotta get ‘em out!
Go fetch your bats! Pow!
Put the kids to bed, project some Zs from my head
When a crash awoke me from my slumber
Grab your favorite weapons, kids, there’s someone downstairs
Let’s show these invaders to their doom
It’s a call to action, we’ve gotta defend our domain
Belt your battle cries, we’re gonna… we’re gonna maim
We track ‘em by the sound, rearing to pound
They were nowhere to be found
Then we look… then we look down… down
Wake up! Wake up! Now!
Someone’s in the house!
Gotta get-- gotta get ‘em out!
Go fetch your bats! Pow!
Wake up! Wake up! Now!
Someone’s in the house!
Gotta get-- gotta get ‘em out!
Go fetch your bats! Pow!
Falling to the ground, I cursed in pain
Turning back around, I see a… I see a face
“How does cleaning make you feel?”
He’s got my attention
“And I’ve got a real, real good deal”
The sales rep says to me,
“Would you like to buy a Midnight Roomba?
It’ll roam your house while you sleep”
It’s a call to action, we’ve got to defend our domain
Belt your battle cries, we’re gonna…(*battle cry*)
we’re gonna maim
Wake up! Wake up! Now!
Someone’s in the house!
Gotta get-- gotta get ‘em out!
Go fetch your bats! Pow!
Wake up! Wake up! Now!
Someone’s in the house!
Gotta get-- gotta get ‘em out!
Go fetch your bats!
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2. |
Space Extradition
03:30
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Me with my spaceships
You with your kickflips
He with his clearance
He's exposing all our secrets
You with your bushy beard
He with his scruff scruff
Me with my bare chin
On Rogan going puff puff
La.
La La La.
La La La.
La La Laaa
We are on a mission
You're facing extradition
I'm colonizing Mars
Come join the expedition
Leaving from Los Angeles
I pick him up in Moscow
We grab you from the embassy
Then take off from Orlando
We touchdown in Cassini
Just us three amigos
But someone got here first
Jeffrey Preston Bezos?!
La.
La La La.
La La La.
La La Laaa
We are on a mission
They’re facing extradition
We’re colonizing Mars
Come join the expedition
He sits upon a throne
Sipping Basics wine
This mogul must have known
This real estate is prime
He with his billions
We with our philosophy
He's flying through the solar system
Planting flags from A to Z
La.
La La La.
La La La.
La La Laaa
When I blew the whistle at the C.I.A.
They were spying on their people, I just had to get away
So, I settled down in Russia and asylum they did grant
The Kremlin will not silence me when I go on a rant
This is a message to the people, to look up from your screens
The shipping isn’t free if you pay a yearly fee!
Who’s the guy we hate the most?
Jeffrey Preston Bezos
Who's killing jobs from coast to coast?
Jeffrey Preston Bezos
Who's building a monopoly?
Jeffery Preston Bezos
Who sells me stuff that spies on me?
Jeffrey Preston Bezos
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3. |
Shampoo Drive-Thru
03:58
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Bubble, bubble
Shave my stubble
Trim and a shampoo
on the double
Wrap my face in a fresh hot towel
Make it quick or I don’t know how I’ll
Get to the chapel on time
To pronounce them husband and wife
Shampoo Drive-Thru! How can I help you?
Trim and a shampoo? Sure! Next window please
We are your brand new hairdo pit crew
Want to meet the new you? Next window please.
Slide into my back seat
Trim and comb my hair
Lather rinse but don’t repeat
I’ve got to be somewhere
The marquee reads
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Come on back for more
Your tenth visit is free
Shear, Shear
Lower these ears
Braid my hair and dry my tears
All eyes are on me today
And I just want to run away
I’m not ready to wear this dress
My heart’s beat- beat- beating out of my chest
Shampoo Drive-Thru! How can I help you?
Something’s bugging you? Next window please
We are here to make your worries disappear
So, tell us all your fears. Next window please
Move a little faster
I’m already late
This is a disaster
Why did I get bangs?
Slide into my back seat
Blow dry my hair
Aim it at these cold feet
I hope he doesn’t care
Bowl cut Dreadlocks
A mohawk with Mutton Chops
Pigtails and a skin fade
A buzz cut with side bangs
Comb over, Top-knot
rattail with a flat top
Beehive, Cowlick
Afro with a mullet
Pompadour with a french twist
Jheri curls with frosted tips
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4. |
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I’ve got a mop, you fetch a broom
if you keep up, you can come too
tell the band we’ll be there soon
with the Easter Monday Cleanup Crew
after Peter’s yearly rampage,
who knows what to do
when you’re soaked in blood after the holiday
we’ve got hazmat suits
limbs and entrails dangle from the trees,
reach them if you can
a vacuum cleaner won’t clear this debris,
we need a dust pan
pink grass won’t grow
where does it come from,
who knows
these eggs, we throw
when they hit ground they
explode
Pick up your mic, we’ll make some room
if they don’t move, we know what to do
break the handle off that broom
start swinging for the cleanup crew
Oh no
Explode
we throw
won’t grow
after peter’s yearly rampage,
who knows what to do
when you’re soaked in blood after the holiday,
we’ve got hazmat suits
limbs and entrails dangle from the trees,
reach them if you can
a vacuum cleaner won’t clear this debris,
we need a dust pan
pink grass won’t grow
where does it come from,
who knows
these eggs, we throw
when they hit ground they
explode
I’ve got a mop, you fetch a broom
if you keep up, you can come too
tell the band we’ll be there soon
we're the Easter Monday Cleanup Crew
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5. |
Stranger Danger
03:13
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Mom sent me out to get groceries
For our mega-awesome, super cool party
“Well, I’m out the door, see you later!”
When dad yells back, “Hey, Son! Don’t talk to strangers!”
I pull into the parking lot
When I hear a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
“Hey, Honey. Have you got the time?”
“Yes, ma’am. It’s eleven forty-five.”
I’ve got a lot of things on my list
I really don’t have time for this
“So, what do ya say, wanna gimme a ride?”
“Yeah, sure. Hurry up, get inside.”
Driving home my back seat full of mostly groceries
I just can’t get my mind off the festivities
This party’s gonna be the bomb
With me my dad-- and my mom
Playing game after game after game of soda pong
Pulling into my driveway
When we hear a BANG BANG BANG
“Hey, kid! Wanna help me hide a body?”
“Yeah, sure. You can bring it to my party.”
Come on in, kick off your shoes
And get lost in the red balloons
How many strangers did you bring
Strangers did you bring
Hey! Is that a dead body?
This is a terrible thing
A terrible thing
These people aren’t welcome at my party
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6. |
Relish The Dish
03:24
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Catch up with us
You’re ahead of the curve
Must herd the word
The flock is out-numbered
Relish the dish
It’s freshly found fish
Fried on the fifth
For the family picnic
call in take out
I haven’t eaten in days
Like a curb check cashed
On ice cream sundae
My solitary salivary
Gland just joined the military
Juvenile jelly beans
Detonate my destiny
It’s a the end of all humanity
Fertile ground for filthy fantasy
No you haven’t, no you haven’t
No you haven’t heard the last of me
Give up, Dig in
Take a stab at the earth
tick tock, clock in
time to measure your worth
don’t misbehave
I’ll dance on the grave
there’s no time to save
better get out of my way
Give up Let go
take a seat next to me
how better to go
than solo commando
flip that frown back upside down
there’s safety six feet under ground
there’s no telling what we’ll do
but we know she’s tomorrows’ food
We’re born, we eat, we die
Fish swim, they’re caught, and they’re fried
Grow a spine and cast your line
the grown ups cry as the children lie
We’re born, we eat, we die
Fish swim, they’re caught, and they’re fried
Grow a spine and cast your line
the grown ups cry as the children lie
It’s the end of all humanity
Fertile ground for filthy fantasy
No you haven’t, no you haven’t
No you haven’t heard the last of me
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7. |
Awful Apple Waffle
03:16
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Hey there, Mister. You look hungry.
I know a great place in the city.
We can grab an UberX.
Me? I always choose Select.
We can go for breakfast or brunch
It doesn’t matter much
If you want a side salad or jam and toast
Don’t you worry, this place serves both
We could get some coffee
But me, I really, really, really prefer tea
I would sip some coffee
You know, if you’ll stir it for me
Let’s stay for dinner, my friend
Surge pricing kicks in at ten
Afterward we’ll have a bath
Spaghetti and meatballs in our laps
Then we’re back tomorrow for lunch
This server’s my new crush
I’ll have an awful apple waffle with an iced tea
If only she’ll serve it to me
Please don’t tell Chris Farley
That what he’s drinking isn’t really coffee
He’ll start a rage in this place
You’ll get a pie in the face
What’s in those pies
Is it pecan? Is it lemon meringue?
Is it grapefruit? Is it cherry pie?
Is it minced-meat? Is it sweet potato?
Is it rhubarb? Banana cream?
Is it you? Is it me? Oh, what could it be?
I don’t care what’s in those pies?
I just want to get it out of my eyes
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8. |
Spooky Shoes
02:41
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I lift my nose, my feet don't stink
This feels wrong, but I ain't no shrink
Looking down, I finally see
what is missing to be complete
I'm a ghost with no cause
a specter without a heart
but still the worst part is
my shoes don't fit
They phase right through me
Why can't my death be worry free
Nooo!
I hate this
My shoes don't
stay on my feet
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9. |
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I’m a high priest in a cult
Witchcraft and spells all day
There’s a creature I consult
How did I get this way? I’ll tell you!
My mongoose made me do it
It approached me in disguise
Hypnotized me with its eyes
Forfeit this battle of wits
It claimed me as its prize
I can’t stay out of trouble
Due to our little game
Causing nations to crumble
I won’t take any blame
B-B-B-B-
Because my mongoose made me do it
It approached me in disguise
Hypnotized me with its eyes
It demands obedience
So I whisper my goodbyes
Ooo, I can't believe it
I crashed into your bushes
I’ve got twigs stuck between my ears
and now I can't stop the tears
My mongoose made me do it
Embezzling all those funds
Corrupting all the nuns
My mongoose made me do it
Poisoning a tasty stew
Stealing granny’s new shampoo
My mongoose made me do it
Counterfeiting Benjamins
Sucker-punching all your friends
My mongoose made me do it
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10. |
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Good Morning, Grandma
Did you hear the news?
I found the perfect side
for your favorite stew
If you like it
I could bring it to you
From the good old
days of 2002
It’s like a liquid
So viscous you
Could scoop it with
a slotted spoon
Do you know, do you know
How to find the groove?
Back it up! Back it up
To this funky tune
Into a black hole
We’re dancing feet first
Through a wormhole
Across the universe
Into a black hole
We’re sliding feet first
Through a wormhole
Across the universe
Good evening, hostess
Please don’t stare
When we come from this
is stylish hair
We’ve come a long way
From some ancient fare
A dish for which our people
Don’t much care
How do you make this?
Please write it there
You are the patron saint
Of answered prayers
Oh no I hope that
We have the right cookware
Okay. So long.
Thank you. Take care.
Into a black hole
We’re dancing feet first
Through a wormhole
Across the universe
Angel voices sing
As the buffet beckons
Can we help you please
For starters, I’ll have seconds
One scoop now and two to-go
Gravy flows from the heavens
More flavor than I’ve ever known
I’ve lost count of my blessings
Into a black hole
We’re dancing feet first
Through a wormhole
Across the universe
Into a black hole
We’re sliding feet first
Through a wormhole
Across the universe
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Shampoo Drive-Thru Chicago, Illinois
Cutting through the cover bands to deliver original music to Chicagoland and beyond, Shampoo Drive-Thru is a high-energy synth-rock trio. Inspired by Oingo Boingo, DEVO, and the B-52's, their unique music style is sure to leave you entertained and begging for more. ... more
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